#3 years with her will be 4 in december and i am very thankful for her

[zombiepedia]

your dog looks like a sweetie pie

she's the best i love her so so so dearly. no dog in the world that is as kind and loving as my baby

[luckykiwiii101]

Hello, I am writing to you as a 22-year-old girl who managed to enter the void on the night of May 17 and changed her whole life.

I started my void  challenge in December 2021. It was very difficult for me both physically and psychologically. Because I had an environment that was abusive and violent. And my conditions were very terrible. I had an exam that I couldn't win for 3 years, an alcoholic father who beat me, and a mother who never let up on it. I have lost a lot of things in my life in 3 years, but I have never given up on emptiness. If there are people who are still struggling with the gap, I hope my success story will be a motivation for you.

One morning when I woke up with failure again, I was feeling extremely unhappy and hopeless. But an incident at home during the day made me say, ‘That's enough, I'm going to fuck everything up tonight and wake up in a void.

When I wasn't feeling very sleepy- or even sleepy at all- I lay down on the bed. Because I'm afraid to fall asleep. In order of;

15 min Holotropic breathwork

20 min Silva method

10 min Alpha State meditation

After lying motionless for about 45 minutes, the brown noise started playing. It is very natural that there is a desire to move, to be overwhelmed,to give up in this part. Please continue for your dreams. When the brown noise was playing, I used a single affirmation. 

‘I'm simply deciding that I'm in a void.’

I can't remember how many times I repeated it. After a while, everything became quiet and I felt so peaceful for the first time in my life. I had a 30-page document and I said that everything in there would be manifested.

A day ago, when I had nothing, I now have a house on the Mediterranean coast, a black bmw ix car, a Harvard math degree, an online job where I earn 25 thousand dollars per month by working only 4 hours a day 4 days a week (Dollars are very valuable in the country where I live, and my salary is multiplied by about 30.), I have a beautiful face, body and skin. I also showed that I can ride horses professionally and draw pictures. I confirmed that the apple products, books, cosmetics and skin products in my wishlist are also in my house. I have also declared the person I will meet about 1 year from now and who will become the man of my dreams.

THIS IS AMAZING!!!! I’m so happy that you’re now living your dream life 💗

This is such a good example of showing people that they can truly do anything. Thank you for taking your time to share this 💗

[robinbuckleysfringe]

paper rings.

a joseph quinn social media au

pairings: joseph quinn x keery!reader

warnings: pronouns for reader vary between she & they, I've tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible even tho I do use female faceclaims

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*yninstagram has posted*

tagged strangerthings, joekeery, maya_hawke, nattyiceofficial, gatenm123 & charlie.r.heaton

liked by tomblyth, josephquinn, millybobbybrown, rachelzegler and others

yninstagram breaking my insta hiatus to tell you all that we're back for another adventure into the Upside Down 🦇🫶🏻💕

View comments

joekeery why'd you have to crop half my face out like that

> yninstagram to make room for nat's face, obvs

> joekeery so you're saying you love her more than me???

> yninstagram of course, duh 🙄. you should know this by now

maya_hawke reunited bby!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

> yninstagram missed youuuuu 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

madelyncline not you trying to crop joe out the picture 💀

> yninstagram there's already too much joe content on my page, the people need more nat

josephquinn very excited to join the upside down with you all!!

> yninstagram aw joe!! we're so happy to have you join our stranger things family 🫶🏻

madisonbaileybabe the 80s look great on you but I miss our beach vibes 😭🫶🏻

> yninstagram thanks hun!! I miss filming with you 🫶🏻🫶🏻

rudeth not you finally posting

> yninstagram as if you're online more than I am

rachelzegler don't die this season pls

> yninstagram I can't make any promises 😭😭😭

> user Y/N WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????

user obsessed with these bts pics!!!

user ahhhh, so excited for this season!!!

user omg they finally posted!!!

user love of my life. cannot wait to have you back on my screen!!!

☆☆☆

*yninstagram has posted*

tagged rachelzegler, tomblyth & hunterschafer

liked by josephquinn, maya_hawke, joekeery, madisonbaileybabe and others

yninstagram my best friend made a movie 🫶🏻🕊🐍

View comments

rachelzegler it was amazing to have you at the premiere angel 😇💕

> yninstagram love youuuu and everything you do ever 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕

> rachelzegler love youuu bby ❤️

madelyncline you always understand the assignment with the outfit

> madelyncline slay queen 👑😍

> yninstagram thanks bby 🫶🏻💕

joekeery it's criminal that you didn't invite me smh 😤

> yninstagram excuse me?? we're literally going to see it this weekend??

> maya_hawke do our plans not matter to you joe?? :((

josephquinn so this is why you weren't on set this week 👀

> yninstagram oops, did ya miss me? 😂

> josephquinn course not

sadiesink OMG SLAY!! 😍😍😍

user the fit is everything omg!!!

user now y/n is a person who would 100% understand the met gala themes every year

user omg pls tell me you've got a small cameo in the movie!! that would be everything!!

☆☆☆

*yninstagram has posted*

tagged marvel & florencepugh

liked by florencepugh, tomblyth, rudeth, josephquinn and others

yninstagram booked and blessed baby!!! our new series Hawkeye drops on disney+ this december 🏹💜

View comments

yninstagram can't keep a secret to save my life, so if you heard about this beforehand- no you fucking didn't 🫶🏻

*yninstagram pinned this comment*

joekeery proud of you!!!

> yninstagram thank you

> joekeery tho I will say I'm gonna take some credit for your success because I ran all your audition lines with you

> yninstagram 😡🖕🏻

florencepugh dream come true to work with you!! 💜

> yninstagram aww, love you flo!! 💜

tomholland2013 welcome to the MCU y/n x

> yninstagram thanks spoiler man

> tomholland2013 heyy, uncalled for!!

> yninstagram shouldn't have spoiled your movie for me then 😤

> tomholland2013 I'm sorry :((

hichasestokes congrats on being booked and busy. idk how you do it 🐝

> yninstagram i love all these projects, but really I just wanna nap

tomholland2013 wait. THEY GAVE YOU A DOG?? unfair :((

> yninstagram someone sounds jelly lol. sucks to be you I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

josephquinn not you posting this like you didn't tell me on set 2 days ago. congrats tho, you deserve it :))

> yninstagram thanks joe 🫶🏻

> josephquinn also can you give me my guitar back now? please. I need to practice

> yninstagram you'll have to find me first haha 🤪

> nattyiceofficial they're in their trailer

> charlie.r.heaton just follow the sound of pure chaos and you'll find them 😂

user SHUT. UP

user is this real??

user omg can't believe you're bringing Kate Bishop to life!!! so excited for this!!

☆☆☆

I'm aiming for this little series to have about 6 parts to it, like my tom blyth one. but feel free to comment anything you'd like to read/see in this (or any future) social media aus 🩷

[choicesbookclub]

12 Days of Choices Special Event

Not sure who is planning to participate, but I figured I'd start this thread to talk about it and share info for anyone that is playing.

If you find the hidden item, please share where and when (what chapter + scene)! All clues and hints welcomed. I'll try to update this post with whatever info I see so that it's all in one place for anyone checking in quick!

Day One: December 12

Book: Mother of the Year

Chapter 1

Scene: MC's daughter has the option for the uniform. The Partridge in a Pair Tree is on the stairs in the background.

Day Two: December 13

Book: The Duchess Affair

Hint: In chapters 1-3

Chapter: beginning of chapter 2

Scene: The location is the breakfast room, in front of the large painting and next to the Christmas tree.

Thanks @lizzybeth1986

Day Three: December 14

Book: Bachelorette Party

Hint: "3 French hens, 3 blind mice, 3 is the number you'll want to check twice "

Chapter 3

Scene: The Abracadabra Lounge, right at the front of the room.

Thanks @lizzybeth1986

Day Four: December 15

Book: The Cursed Heart

Hint: "You didn't hear this from me, but it's in a prime number chapter greater than 3!"

Helpful Math: Prime Numbers include: 5,7,11,13,17,19

Chapter 5

Scene: At the stables talking to Sir Montgomery, perched on the ceiling

Thanks @lizzybeth1986

Day Five: December 16

Book: Ms. Match

Hint: "Five Gold Rings: Starting from the left, which finger is your ring finger? 🖐️"

Chapter 2

Scene: walking home from the bar with jack, they very impressively transformed a building

Thanks @alasforher

Day Six: December 17

Book: Untameable

Hint: "Six Geese A-Laying: (four) The perfect amount of geese to have is four! 🪿"

Chapter 4

Scene: The stables, at the very beginning of the chapter.

Thanks, @lizzybeth1986

Day Seven: December 18

Book: The Unexpected Heiress

Hint: "Seven Swans A-Swimming: You'll spot them right away! 🏊"

Chapter 1

Scene: On the ship, immediately after the MC is introduced and says goodbye to her mother and brother.

Thanks, @lizzybeth1986

Day Eight: December 19

Book: Slow Burn

Hint: "Eight Maids A-Milking: You'll only need two maids to get this job done. 🥛"

Chapter 2

Scene: Bunting when you are first in the New Orleans ‘Hushpuppys’ restaurant

Thanks, @alasforher

Day Nine: December 20

Book: Queen B

Hint: "Nine Ladies Dancing: You'll need to be FOURtunate to find this item! 💃"

Chapter 4

Scene: At the sports field on Kickoff Day

Thanks, @lizzybeth1986

Day Ten: December 21

Book: Laws of Attraction

Hint: "Ten Lords A-Leaping: These lords are leaping VERY early on. 💯"

Chapter 1

Scene: Sadie McGraw's office

Thanks, @lizzybeth1986

Day Eleven: December 22

Book: Wake the Dead

Hint: "Eleven Pipers Piping: You'll need five fingers to play this pipe. 🖐️"

Chapter 3

Scene: Second scene in Red Meadows Cabin discussing the surge, after the upstairs has been cleared

Thanks, @alasforher

Day Twelve: December 23

Book: Roommates with Benefits

Hint: "Twelve Drummers Drumming: These drummers are marching in twos. 🥁"

Chapter 3

Scene: Opening party scene in the dorm room

Thanks, @alasforher

More to Come

*Note, according to PB, you don't have to click on the item or do anything special, once you past that scene/chapter, the app will remember it and the rewards will be granted at the end of the event.

*Rewards will be granted on 12/26 at 11 AM PST

[zenkindoflove]

The fandom is so lucky to have you! We appreciate having you here and all that you contribute to it ❤️❤️

1. What brought you into the fandom?

2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?

3. Out of all of SJM’s books, which one means the most to you and why?

4. Out of all of the SJM couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc) which one means the most to you and why?

Keep doing you ❤️

Well isn't this kind and lovely! Thank you anon!

1. What brought you into the fandom?

Around September 2023 I was like - hmmm I should give that ACOTAR series everyone keeps talking about a try. And then I read the series in a week, read Elucien fanfic for the following week, and then started writing my own Elucien fanfic the week after. I probably started getting active on Tumblr around the end of December 2023/beginning of January 2024 and the rest is history. Elucien is what brought me here and why I stay. That's my OTP and I'm ride or die.

2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?

I definitely feel the most connected to Elain and Lucien as they are the ones I care about the most. Lucien was the first character I clung to. I really admire how SJM has written him so far, and all the details we have given of him show he is a kind and brave soul that walks his own path in life. And I'm a sucker for a hot sassy man with a tragic past.

For Elain, we have less of her but what we do have I've clung too and I would say I defend her as fiercely as Lucien. I think because of how much the fandom judges her harshly, it makes me more protective. I love female heroines that lead with kind hearts and soft touches. The ones who are smart socially and not always brash (I love those characters too but I am not as protective because most people tend to like them). I also relate to Elain being the peace maker in her family. Making herself small so that others have room for the attention they need. I probably project a lot into her but hey, that is natural to do with fictional characters.

I would also say in the last several months I've really connected to Eris' character too. Like Elain, we only know what we see on a surface level with him, but exploring him in my own fanfics has really made me latch onto him in a way that is more extreme than when I first read. I was always intrigued by him and the way he is presented as more grey and hints at some of the innate goodness he's hiding. But now I feel like I know him (or really the version of him I've created in my head).

3. Out of all of SJM's books, which one means the most to you and why?

Probably ACOWAR because it has the most Elucien development and we get some really good early insights into Eris' character. ❤️

4. Out of all of SJM's couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc), which one means the most to you and why?

Elucien of course. They are my ACOTAR OTP. I will be truly upset if they aren't endgame in the same way I was upset when That 70s Show broke up Jackie/Hyde and I spent 3 years writing fix it fics. To me, they have so much potential to be the best couple in the series with the most compelling and heart felt story. I'm strapped in.

I will say too that my own personal fanon ship of Eris and my OC Alexius has really taken over my brain in a way that I didn't expect. Alexius isn't real in the same way canon characters are but he's very real to me at this point. Idk what that means for my future with reading Eris' story in canon because I'm such a loyalist to couples I ship (multishipping is not in my bones). But we will see. Basically I love playing in that world and I'm not going to stop for a long, long time.

[therentyoupay]

just want to quickly tell you that i really admire your dedication in completing your 'at the center' fiction, which is WOW, absolutely commendable!! ( and expanding other drabbles as well??? i'm blown away ).

although we've only been following each other recently, i hope to be like you someday and have the motivation to keep posting updates for my fics no matter how long it takes 🥹 okay that's all and have a very nice day!!

thank you!! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏💖💖💖💖 so much!!! for your sweet comments and for the encouragement and for dropping by to leave a message 😭😭💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏🙏 I HOPE YOU, TOO, HAVE A VERY NICE DAY ✨

and i'd like to also take a moment to say a few words about (✨forging, fostering✨) the motivation to keep posting updates for fics (no matter how long it takes!!!!), but first, i'd also like to very briefly share with you two of my all-time favorite fanfiction WIPs (one is ongoing 20+ years, and the other is 10+) to help contextualize my response:

#1. ————

More Than Human (Words: 332,245 | Complete: No) by sbj "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus {High School AU!RrB/PpG}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 31, 2009

LAST UPDATED: June 18, 2019

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 10 years, 4 months, and 21 days

#2. ————

Re-Entry (Words: 568,178 | Works: 22 | Complete: Yes) and Re-Entry: Journey of the Whills (Words: 923,940 | Works: 59 | Complete: No) Obi-Wan Kenobi, while still a young Padawan, suffers an injury and wakes up with all of the memories, experience, training, and Force-strength of Old Ben Kenobi. {Time Travel AU!Star Wars Re-Write} by flamethrower

FIRST PUBLISHED: October 1, 2002

LAST UPDATED: December 30, 2022

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 20 years, 3 months, and 6 days

————

these WIPs are only two examples! tons of my favorite stories have spanned multiple years of progress!

mine! ————

at the center (Words: 395,094 | Complete: No) by @therentyoupay Legends and fairy tales, magic and myths, and—at the center of it all—a story of a young, future-Queen and her young, ageless-Guardian; a girl cursed with fear and a god frozen in time, and all of the reasons why seeing isn't always at the heart of believing. {Guardian AU!Jelsa}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 17, 2014

LAST UPDATED: January 2, 2024

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 9 years, 11 months, and 22 days (happy almost 10th anniversary!! ✨)

thoughts & feelings! ————

everyone writes at their own pace, in their own time, with the best resources they have, according to whatever life stage(s) they are at 💕

~most readers generally express gratitude and understanding and patience! fandom culture (across fandoms) shifts and changes all the time, so while there are times in fandom (generally) in which the ✨entitled expectation✨ is for fic authors to "WRITE FAST, PUBLISH OFTEN," there are also times in which readers go out of their way to share beautifully encouraging messages like "even if you never update again, i am so grateful for what you have given us (so far)!" and "i will wait for this story to update for the rest of my life, and i will be happy with an update no matter how long it takes" and, often—both messages at the same time. 💖

a good skill to develop is the mental strength to withstand the not-so-nice messages while absorbing the positivity of the lovely ones! i don't post or respond to the really nasty anons i sometimes receive 👀 like the ones that accuse me of having "abandoned nearly all [my] fics"—i personally delete them immediately! anons like that do not deserve someone else's ✨energy✨. (for the first time—i think, ever?—i did post someone's confusing? rude? anon the other day [i.e., i am a hoarder who creates suffering by withholding fic updates?? i think??], but i attribute that choice to publicly post [my reaction gif to that anon] to my current Life Stage™ and my hard-earned self-confidence in the knowledge that I Can Do Hard Things. ✨ my development of that muscle has come from finishing other long-progress fanfics, and, to be honest, Real Life Milestones like going to grad school [twice] and Doing a Dissertation ✨). all in all, the motivation to keep updating is really, at its core, about having the will and the time and the mental energy and the passion to dedicate time to something that you really want to do, even through all the obstacles and nonsense, which takes mental (and emotional) strength! 💖 develop and fortify your mental fortitude! 💖💖💖💖 it's a lifelong process! ✨

and lastly, and most importantly, in my opinion... regardless of whether or not you think any potential readers might be out there (chances are there WILL BE, but that's not the point!!!), just keep writing... and write what you want, and write for yourself! whether you update in two days, or ten years, or twenty-two—do it, anyway!! 💖💖💖💖💖

LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, GOOD LUCK 💖✨ (and keep me posted lol)

[the-wales-5]

"Crazy for this girl" (Chapter 3)

The party of which Fergus was speaking at a rugby match had been organised on a Saturday evening. Prince William preferred to stay at St Salvator's Hall writing some assignments and already attempting to revise stuff before December. He wanted to stay as disciplined as possible. Another reason for his absence was clear: a need to stay alone after days overflowing with irritation towards almost all the students.

A white strap blouse, denim skirt, slightly seen makeup, and natural hair. Although it was not her intent, “beautiful Kate” captivated everyone again.

*

A group of students was standing in the queue to get “Venice and antiquity: the Venetian sense of the past” by Patricia Fortini Brown. Catherine was getting quite impatient as people were moving very slowly in the line. Normally, it would not affect her, but at that moment, she was taking a look at the watch every few seconds.

“I hope this one isn’t going to be as bad as the one about Greece”

Among the maze of quiet words and voices, that one brought her attention for some reason. Prince William just walked past her with a book in his hand “Your advice paid off, thanks”.

“I am glad to see you with the book,” she said and smiled a little.

“How was the party? There's no one to tell me details apart from Fergus from whom getting information is quite difficult if a gathering involves alcohol”

Catherine tried not to laugh “Well, it was an average night, full of drinks and dance. Nothing too good, honestly”

“I assumed that. Uhm, I noticed a book in your bag recently”

“A stolen one?” Catherine teased and caused him to chuckle

“No, not this time. One about Chile. It was my gap year destination”

“One of my gap year destinations as well.

Florence first, then Chile”

“We could talk about our experiences”

Catherine looked at the people in front of her, then at her watch once more “I don't think it is possible now..”

“Kate! I’ve got two copies, one for you!” Laura Warshaeur approached her at the same moment

“Oh, thank you! That’s so helpful for me”

“Go. He’s waiting outside for at least ten minutes”.

“Thanks. Oh, and see you tomorrow for our classes, Steve” she said, walking off.

The person waiting for her was Rupert Finch. The 4th-year law student and her boyfriend.

“You like her, don’t you?” Laura said when she noticed that William was looking at their friend

“She’s helped me recently, that’s all” He brushed off the topic.

~

“Where have you been?” Rupert asked his girlfriend right after she hugged him

“In the library, long queue”

“I hope this is the truth, Katie” he said and kissed her on the cheek

“Why wouldn’t it be true?” She rolled her eyes, but then Rupert put his hand around her, and they went to a restaurant nearby where Catherine got a job the week before.

***

Chapter 4

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Semi-Hiatus From 10/21 Until 10/28

{out of paprikash} Hello, everyone. I received some very bad family news early this morning. I'll elaborate more under a cut for those who want to know, since I know many people don't want to hear about personal issues on rp blogs, and that's totally okay. I want all my blogs to be safe spaces for everyone. But the upshot is, I may not have very much time to write in the upcoming week, so I'll only be working on blogs whose characters I have a lot of muse for. I’ll leave @tarnishedxknight open, since I have a lot of muse for those characters, and I might write my Resident Evil muses (@youmissedone, @checkxmaster, and @freewillacquired) on their scheduled Wednesday (10/25) if time/muse allows. All other blogs, I will likely skip this week.

It’s hard for me to gauge, because sometimes when I get very upset/stressed, I want to write as a comfort/escape, but at other times I can’t even make words. There may be days when I write a lot and others when I write nothing. I’m sorry for anyone waiting for a reply, but all of this was very unexpected. I’m going to say I’ll be back next Saturday (10/28), but if that changes I'll let you know. Thanks so much for understanding. In the meantime, I hope you all are doing well. <3

Alright so... I don't want to go into a lot of details and overshare and make people uncomfortable, so I'll just quickly summarize what's going on.

I have a very toxic grandmother (she's 93) that me and my dad share time with my aunt with. She lives with us for 6 months out of the year and with her for 6 months, in a 2-2-4-4 breakdown. My grandma is so damaging to the mental health of whoever is taking care of her, and she greatly limits your freedom and ability to have a life because she can't be left alone for very long at all which is hard to deal with with work and whatnot, so we have to share time to keep our mental health from getting too bad. She causes my dad and I anxiety, depression, etc., but I won't go into detail as to all the reasons why. It's... a long story.

Anyway, Halloween is our happy time of year, because we love the season, we do a lot for it, and grandma is gone from August to December. Well... my aunt called today. She was just diagnosed with cancer and will need various treatments, so she can't take care of grandma anymore. We are getting her back two months early, we have to take down all our decorations for Halloween (she's very Christian and hates it), and we've had to cancel all our plans for Halloween and my birthday (some of which we had tickets and reservations we can't get refunds for), because when she's here, we can't leave the house for very long or go very far.

So at the height of when we were at our happiest and ready for Halloween and whatever else, we have to suddenly kindof... shut it all down... and accept back into our lives before we're ready this toxic person we were supposed to have a break from. And there will be no more breaks in the future, that's the worst part. Well, my aunt having cancer is the worst part, but you know what I mean. It's just all been a shock for us in so many ways.

*sigh* So yeah. If you've read this far, thank you for caring enough to do so, you deserve all the good things and I hope they come to you. I'll be okay, I just have to process everything, accept my new normal, somehow get through it. And I have to hope my aunt will be okay, forget about Halloween, and forget anything else me and my dad wanted to do for the foreseeable future. I am also getting laid off soon, probably after next semester according to my boss, so I need to find a new job. With grandma living with us all the time and my dad needing help to take care of her, I am extremely limited by what jobs I can look for, so that's another big source of anxiety. I just have to find a way through this, because I don't have a choice.

Again, thanks for understanding, and hopefully I can sort through this all in my head, get done everything that needs to get done in the next few days, and be ready to come back to my regular rp schedule next weekend. But like I said, I'll let everyone know if that changes.

[keithsandwich]

.

In 2020, two friends reached out. We were all isolated because of the pandemic, and as October approached, they wanted to try some creation challenges (not exactly Kinktober for them --- this was more my thing than theirs ---, but any writing challenges to work on something together).

I've met them in YYH/HxH fandom. I have written together with one of them back in 2016/2017, once literally sharing a fanfic as authors, and one that was really amazing. But eventually, interests diverged and I started playing more otome games than watching animes for a while, something none of them were ever interested in.

During this 2017-2020 hiatus I did try to write, to exhaustion sometimes, even if I had no friends in those fandoms or weren't an active part on them in any way. It didn't work, but I never credited this failure to solitude. It just didn't work.

Then in 2020 my friends convinced me to write for HxH again in October, and I did. Every single day during that month. And every single day they were there in our group chat, discussing ideas and cheering up for each other and celebrating each fanfic posted.

I met the bestie I often mention in the comment sections of some of those fics. By then, I only wrote in Portuguese, but she read everything with Google Translate. We shared our Discords and started talking everyday. In December that year, I finally started risking writing in English, thanks to her encouragement.

We used to share this amazing connection. We would complete each other's ideas very easily, and share absolutely everything and anything that reminded us of our ship. Our chat was a neverending brainstorm, and I lost count of the times I stood up 'til 3, 4 am writing with her, sharing every paragraph just for her to spam me with emojis and gifs of encouragement.

She stayed for a while when I got into IkePri, and this is how I managed to write 10 chapters of the first fanfic I wrote about Keith and Maeve, that started even before I created this blog. But she never got into the game herself, and now although we keep in touch, there's no more brainrots. It's the same with my two friends.

And now I'm here.

I know I'm appreciated by some, and some people have tried to encourage me here and there, but... Octobers come and go and I'm just here, fading in the background like maybe a nice presence people enjoy chatting sometimes, but no longer a part of anything really that someone would care if I'm writing/creating or not. That someone would invite me to create together as writing buddies or anything.

There's more to it, but I think part of my agony and why it's been worse now is this.

[captain-aralias]

My Year in Review (but i cut the giant gif)

summary is - my top posts this year are recs, discord links .... and a pregnancy announcement!

I posted 1,105 times in 2022

165 posts created (15%)

940 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@facewithoutheart

@cutestkilla

@artsyunderstudy

@letraspal

@forabeatofadrum

I tagged 908 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#carry on - 700 posts

#carry on fanart - 277 posts

#fic rec - 235 posts

#my content - 177 posts

#unintended - 38 posts

#snowbaz - 36 posts

#restoration ecology - 31 posts

#simon snow series - 22 posts

#doctor who - 16 posts

#sort of - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the ones i'm disappointed with didn't quite sell the premise or i had to write them too hurriedly or forgot to bring something in

I sent 3 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

life update

i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉

due date: 30th may

bit more info below the cut

i thought about making a lulzy WIP wednesday post (aka, "here is what i'm working on") along these lines a few times, but i didn't want to tag anyone into personal stuff they didn't necessarily want, and also i thought i miscarried almost immediately and that started me down a spiral of anxiety, so now it's not so funny. but anyway - i thought today would be a good day to tell people, since we're out the first trimester.

how:

IVF - worked first time

my partner's egg

donor sperm - man it's weird buying sperm, particularly from america, although i only browsed. i bought from the UK. i do know men i could have asked, but in the end i thought... i dont know anyone well enough i'd want to have a child with them. at all.

happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.

how am i?

fine apart from the anxiety!

my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some

i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.

my partner's therapist said (to her) not to make big life decisions so soon after the death of my mum/her dad on the same day about a year ago, but we are both in our mid thirties and at our most financially viable, so - hopefully it's fine.

how is baby?

probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc

still haven't managed to do the test that tells you the likiehood of Downs etc, though, as the baby has refused to move into a position where they could get a good measurement. we may know towards the end of december - so that is making me More Anxious, but it's still fine

why am i putting this on the internet?

a few reasons.

firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.

but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.

AND ... i don't know what the next six months, and then the next.......... twenty years will be like. i'm hoping to write a few more Carry On things before the baby arrives, assuming the second trimester is less tiring (which seems likely so far), but who knows? and probably less after that. BUT WHO KNOWS.

my partner is also a fandom person. i have nine(ish) months of maternity leave (thanks, britain!) and she'll be around for most of that too, thanks to working from home. so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i'll be writing a bunch of extremely realistic babyfics or something. probably not, but you never know.

anyway!

that's the news.

it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.

i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!

98 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

Some 'Carry On' Recommendations for your Tuesday

here's some things i've been reading recently that i think other people should read too! thanks for tagging me @messofthejess!

N.B. this list is super long and also only scratching the surface... i should rec more often, anyway - if you see this, please read some of the things as you will really like them, and give the authors some love!

Teen or under

The Plum Tree by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, under 1k

baz and malcolm talk (without exactly talking) about how baz is a vampire. great characterisation, really nice contained and different piece.

Eight Times Simon Couldn’t Stop Himself by knightinbrightfeathers, RainyForecast, steadfastasthouart (steadfastest) - 12k

just realised this has three authors! really brilliant fic, fangirl-era - but super worth reading, as long as you're ok with simon being smart, and also knowing he's into boys before he kisses baz. (why wouldn't you be?). this is all about simon and baz pranking each other/being generally awful, until they aren't - you see their relationship changing and simon gradually realising what he feels about baz, then there's a telepathy scene! this was recced recently in the discord* so probably lots of people have now read it, but it's seriously good!

Golden Boy by @spockzilla, 9k

magickal mishap, simon turns everything to gold by mistake! this author (also responsible for the fic where simon turns into a frog) is really good at making the silliest things sexy, and sexy things silly - which is a good thing.

end to begin by @tea-brigade, 4k

canon AU, simon and baz are exes, but simon needs baz's help..... really lovely, unusual, interesting and moving fic! i really like how it uses this inciting incident to let baz be kind (that's for me, the most important thing about them being together) and encourage the two of them to have the conversation they should have had a long time ago. works so well.

Trapped by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe based on art by taken_aback_by_Tuesdays,

penny/shepard get together, no snowbaz involved! this fic is criminally unread, because ... it's not snowbaz, but it is BRILLIANT. amazing penny and shepard characterisation, and it's so fun to see them get together a different way... that also involves her saving him.

Explicit

This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart with art by @tea-brigade, 11/17 chapters, 40k, WIP (no sex yet, RIP)

obsessed with this fic right now! band AU where simon and baz briefly bacame friends at school, then became incredibly successful musicians before the band broke up... because simon and baz couldn't communicate about how they fancied each other. it's great! fun, funny, social media stuff, a malcolm trying to be down with the kids, texas references, shepard being a reporter - highly recommend.

Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice with art by @cutestkilla, 5k, brobelove not snowbaz

omg, this fic is so good. seriously - even if you dont think you're into brobelove, you should read this, as i dont believe you could like snowbaz if you don't like the competitive snarky action this fic has in spades, but also if you like brobelove, my god you should read this! such amazing characterisation and super sexy.

Here in the Dark by @artsyunderstudy, 5k

love this middle of the night sex - i'm repeating my comment here, but the whole mood is perfect: confused and dreamlike, you're locked out of baz's POV, entirely in simon's and it works so well for the mood. plus, it's sexy AND there's amazing art to go with it.

Two Heads Are Better Than One by @skeedelvee, 22k

omg, i am obsessed with this fic. it's so deeply strange (simon and baz share the same body, due to - magickal mishap!) AND SO AMAZING AND SEXY. and also romantic and fun. proper enemies to to friends to lovers action, a fantastic scene where simon and baz watch baz's vanilla porn, a bit where they defeat a unicorn together, sex as one person, sex as two people - it's got it all.

*if you're not in this discord, but you'd like to be, this is the link to get in: https://discord.gg/FJ8meVhr

that's enough - i've got more i should rec, but i'll do another post later.

101 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

Thought it was time to bring this back. 

Discord is a chat room. This is a chat room about Carry On, etc.

Not the only one, but one of the biggest (there are 200+ members). The Discord has:

a strong, active moderator team, who make sure this is a safe space (not me, I’m just a helper)

adult-only areas, and a policy that NSFW stuff is not shared outside of these spaces

places to talk about and share fic, art, meta, fan theories, memes, etc

virtual outings, like fic readings

custom emojis

It’s very nice.

This link will get you in: https://discord.gg/8yZvQK7k 

(it expires in 7 days, so 6th May 2022, but feel free to message me if you see this post and the link’s expired)

You will have to introduce yourself before you’re given access to the server proper, although you don’t have to talk after that, if you don’t want to. You can just quietly vibe. Alternately, you can talk a lot and that’s fine too!

You will also have to sign up to the code of conduct.

If you have trouble getting in/speaking once you’re in, it could be because you haven’t verified your Discord account. There’s a clear prompt on desktop, but not on mobile.

I can confirm I checked with the mod team before making this post. It’s kosher.

Please share this post, if you want to.

108 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#2

AU - Canon Divergence Recs

i couldn't think of a good title for this, but basically there have been a few fics recently where i thought: not only is this a great fic, but also this is something i think we could see more in other fics.

basically, they all do a thing that is a good tool to make new fics with. and they're all good fun. here we go:

Eighth Year AU but with Mage-mission

Shiver (rated E) by @facewithoutheart and, yeah, ok me - but not really

for me, an eighth year fic should be about baz being gone/the coffin, magic sharing (with simon and baz much more likely, therefore to be interested in each other quicker), or the plot events of carry on - this one does that. BUT ALSO the plot is driven by simon going on a quest for the mage, which is a classic seventh year trope. cool! (and not my idea)

Post Watford Get Together with Magickal Mishap

Come As You Are (rated E) by @facewithoutheart who sponsored this video

how genius is this? they've left watford, so they've both moved on but magickal mishap happens to simon and that's the plot instigator. simple, but genius.

Genuine new past for Simon and Baz, makes them the same but different

I Know What You Are (rated T) by @martsonmars

ok, other fics have done this too, but i really like this fic and i think the way it does this thing is perfect. simon's grown up with the mage and lucy as his parents; baz has been raised by natasha and malcolm. as a result, when we meet them in eighth year they have completely different histories. it's not only the way they interact with each other that's different, they're both much more confident, have different friends. they really are different people, but the same.

Carry On universe but no Watford

Pretty in Pink (rated T) by @arca9

i was re-reading this one (fake dating heist, love it!) the other day and thinking - this is pretty unique! baz and simon work for the coven, but only just met each other when they became partners, there's no watford. but they use the magic system - it's just a really fun view on what's necessary for your AU to work.

112 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Top 10 SnowBaz fics

I was talking earlier about how 'What's Left' is one of my top 10, which it is. obviously that made me think.... what are the rest?

i think it's probably instinctively these, these ones that influence me the most/that i've re-read the most/that i most wish i could have written, although i had to delete some real favs to get down to 10, and limited myself to one fic per author. and excluded 'your bloodied mouth' as it ain't finished, but kept 'northern downpour' as i believe it will be.

almost all canon divergence, most have plot and sex.

5 Times They Half-Arsed It by @krisrix

Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl

Golden Years by @basic-banshee

keep on keeping on by waveydnp

In A Bind by @im-gettingby

Northern Downpour by @scone-lover

Remember the Magic by @sharkmartini

There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath

What's Left by @cutestkilla

When the Bells Ring by @phoxphyre

360 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[c-ronus]

ok I've seen alot of people give kind of there story of how they got into fable so to the best of my memory here's mine:

Tw: mentions of death and cancer

So i found fable around 3 strikes that was my first lore stream that I remember and I found fable in general when I was about to go into my first year in secondary school and I was alone I had no friends from my primary school with me and I was scared that I'd be bad at making new friends. (spoiler I was and am) I was scrolling on tiktok and I kept getting this videos of an smp called fable smp and there was this one cosolayer that I recognised from their technoblade cosplay (I used to watch cosplay compilations on YouTube before tiktok) so I followed them and didn't think much of it.

A little while later I was on twitch waiting for an mcc to start and I saw someone streaming and I recognised not only the cosplay that they were in but also the user name: sherbertquake56 so I decided to check them out and they where bloody awesome.(I started following them on November 28th 2021)

Then 3 strikes happened and I was hooked I joined the discord and was just chilling watching sherbert perspective, but then I got busy with school and was struggling to keep up but I tried my best, it didn't help that I could never watch them live but that didn't stop me. But over the next few months I did kind of stop watching it was coming up to Christmas and I had alot of exams but then in April I'm not sure exactly what dragged me back but it was heyhay, who again I recognised from the cosplay compilations I used to watch spicificly the dream XD cosplay as that was the first cosplayer that I saw that looked like me, so on April 8th 2022 I was dragged back into fable then later in June 6th 2022 I found ghosty, and those where my people and I was happy, it was summer and it was great.

But then around half way through my second year at school my best and only friend left and I was alone, again but again I found so much comfort in watching fable on days when I truly thought I had no one and it was like that for a while. I finished out my second year and I want alone anymore, although physically I was still quite lonely I had friends, Fable brought me first Bean and from there it cascaded into so many people I now consider family (rora and wonder to name two) and I was ok with that I knew I wasn't alone and that I had people and is still have them so much so that in a few days (4 days from when I'm writing this) me and bean will have been together for a year and that's unreal to me.

Like everything tho it wasn't ment to last, that summer my family found out that my granny had cancer it hit everyone like a pile.of bricks, it seemed like she was doing well, we had her so much longer than we thought we would, but in December we lost her and fable was there again but so we're my friends.

I'm now almost finished my third year at school and in 2 weeks I have my first set of state exams and although there won't be any new fable stories to watch I know that the streams I've come to love and find comfort in will be there and so will my friends. I'm still not great at makeing or keeping friends but I think slowly I'll find all of my people and it will be good.

So thank you fable smp, to the cast I can't wait to see what comes next from you in your next story or adventure! and to the community, over all I was very quiet with my presence in this community like I am with all of them but in my little corner I was so bloody loud about it and I can't ask for a better community for that!

wewo this was fun :3 (ok I'm done being sappy about fable I promise)

[yapcarms03]

A DECADE AND NINE YEARS OF JOURNEY

My life started when my mother was rushed to the hospital. At the hospital, I immediately came out of her womb due to my excitement to begin my journey in this world. I was born at 10:22 in the evening of July 3, 2004. At birth, I weighed 3,300 grams. I had dark brown eyes and no hair.I have five sisters, and I am the fourth one. By the time I was 11 months old, I had learned how to walk. I don't actually remember my first birthday, but I remember my third birthday. It was so special to me that day. I can still remember when my father bought me my first bicycle and my favorite food of all time, and it was palabok. Ever since my father bought me a bike, I've always been thrilled to go to the basketball court, and there I practice biking with my father. When I was 4 years old, I learned how to bike with two wheels. 

During my middle childhood, my life was full of wonder, imagination, and traveling. Every summer, we used to visit my lola house. I'm always thrilled to see my lola aunties, uncles, and cousins and eat delicacies like laing, bicol express, tinapa, pancit bato, and kinalas; however, my extremely favorite is laing and bicol express, especially more spicy. As far as I can recall, me and my cousin always play in the backyard and climb trees to get mangoes, but my cousin climbed these pili nuts, coconuts, and Spondia purpurea (sininguela) trees because I can't climb very high trees. We used to fetch the ducks and pegions, feed the chickens, and clean the stinky cages of the pigs. At the back of the house of my lola, there is a huge rice plantation, and I always like to go there because I can see the splendid view of Mayon volcano, and there I can smell the cleanest air far away from all those pollutions. At that time, even when the sun is out and so hot, I always want to go out there and chill by the beautiful view. It was my ultimate favorite place to hang out with me and my cousins, and there we would harvest the rice plant and put it in a sack of rice, and we would sell it and earn money. I have always been an adventurous, curious, naughty, rascal,and no-bounds girl. Every time we have to go back home,I cry and hide. I always wish summer would never end.

In my teenage years, I've become interested in more adventure stuff. This time, I learned how to drive a motorcycle and got into more accidents. I also learned the basics of skateboarding, which is why I have a lot of scars, especially on my knees. In my teenage years, I also learned how to swim. On my 18th birthday, I learned how to dive and fell in love with cliff diving. I had two best friends who were in my neighborhood. We promise each other to be together forever. They are my childhood best friends.We always used to play Chinese garter, catch ball, patintero,hide and seek,biking on the side of the road, playing computer games, and lots of fun stuff. We used to buy and eat barbecue, ice candy, and ice cream, and buy junk food and soft drinks in the other store; even though we do have a store,it's just that my father will not allow me to eat unhealthy food. We used to hang out in Cafe Namo, SM, and other places. Somehow, the longer our friendships became, the more toxic they became. At the end of the year 2021, December 31, it was night, and suddenly I was contemplating whether I would fix our friendships or end them. I'm an idiot who is terrified to have a conversation with them, which is why my only option is to Gost them. I know it's wrong, painful, and cowardly of me, but I must do it. For a profound reason, in the year 2024, we bumped into each other. And it was totally awkward. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. And she asked me, How are you? I responded, I'm good, and she responded, Oh, that's nice to hear. She actually asked me if I wanted something since we bumped into the store. I said no, thanks. She says okay, and then we go both ways.

I am almost in adulthood. A variety of emotions and experiences define this crucial chapter of my life. I discover valuable life lessons and grow in self-discovery. I am so grateful and proud of myself, despite all the changes and highs and lows I encounter along the journey of my life. And yet here I am, still not giving up. Each day of my life, I'm getting more courageous, resilient, persistent, and determined. And I am always encouraging myself to be open to every opportunity and to never stop learning. As well as never losing hope in the dreams I'm still striving for. Because I know I can be more, I can travel to the places where I want to be, and that's 195 countries. I want to try a variety of foods and cultures in every place I go. I want to try new and adventurous things, like exploring caves, surfing in Siargao,skydiving, scubadiving, riding a hot air balloon in Cappadocia, shark cage diving, swimming with dolphins, going to the Amazon River, where I want to see a real piranha, hiking to Machu Picchu, or going to the Van Gogh Museum. And so on. That is why I need to be wise in terms of how I spend my money, learn to roll the money, and work hard to achieve this bucket list of mine. Lastly, my ultimate goal is to build my parents house near nature. I know this can all be unrealistic, but hey, we never know what our lives are going to be. Because if we did not have all these dreams and goals in our lives, we would be all missirable and lost in life.

[smoshmonker]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

with just an hour left of 2023!! here we go. you’re the best stella <3

1. the middle of july I got a message from @smoshidiot and the rest is history. I am so grateful for her every day and I can’t believe that two best friends reuniting led to me meeting one of my best friends :’)

2. smoshcord/neighborhood - being in smoshcord also led me to meet some more friends and they have seriously made the second half of my year so much better. I am so thankful for them

3. smoshblr - just posting here in general has been amazing. everyone rocks and it’s been generally very fun and peaceful

4. WE BOUGHT SMOSH!!!!

[paperbodiesamongthestars]

Ao3 First Lines

Rules: Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to AO3 (Sort by date posted). If you have less than 10 fics posted, post what you have!

Tagged by the wonderful @magniloquent-raven approximately one hundred years ago. Thanks for thinking of me, bb!

1. Witchcraft does not reward shitty intentions  I (finally) finished this bad boy in February, only two full years after I posted it! LOL. 

Steve handed him his movies and opened his mouth like he was going to say something. Then he closed it again.

"Spit it out, Bambi," Billy said. Steve stared at him for a minute, glancing around to make sure Billy was the only customer at Family Video.

"I just wanted you to know that it's not your fault," he finally said tentatively. Billy thought about all the things Steve could be referring to and decided he needed more specifics.

"What are you talking about?"

"The...thing. The attraction thing." Steve gestured between them. "It's not your fault." 

2. The best-laid plans I wrote this one because I love the idea of Steve Harrington: Actual Disney Prince. Of course everyone wants to kiss him, and of course that ruins Vecna’s plans. Twice.

Henry Creel was in a good mood.

Sure, he was still hideously deformed and trapped in this barren hell dimension—thanks to one very ungrateful little girl—but things were looking up. The weird hive mind that had inhabited this world before Henry arrived had found a way through the gate into Hawkins proper, and Henry could observe and affect events through his link to the creature. He was feeling optimistic.

Things had not gone according to plan the first time he had tried this, and they hadn’t exactly worked out the time after that either. This time, though, Henry had a good feeling. He had made some changes, and he felt like they were going to pan out.  

3. All the Christmases Yet to Come My holiday exchange fic! This one was very fun to write, even if it is a little angstier than my usual fare. 

It dawned like any other December day in Hawkins, bitterly cold and gray, with clouds piling up ominously on the horizon. Fresh snow from an overnight storm sat untouched on lawns and sidewalks and roads. Frost glittered on windowpanes and the brave few who were out and about this early sent plumes of warm breath into the frigid air. Hawkins came slowly and gradually to life as the sun crept up past the horizon, people going about their business as though it was a perfectly normal Friday.

Billy Hargrove woke up in a foul mood, as usual. Thin, gray light filtered through his curtained window, and he found himself missing the sun almost as much as he missed the distant susurration of waves meeting the shore. Hawkins had always been intended as a punishment, and it was a very effective one. This fucking town had only disappointment to offer him, especially after—

Well. Billy was still insisting—even to himself—that he had been even more short-tempered than usual since November because the weather sucked, and not because he couldn’t seem to forget the sensation of Steve Harrington’s cheekbone giving way under his fists. It was getting harder to lie to himself, though. He had fractured a certain pretty boy’s face, and thus ruined any future opportunity to touch that face with gentle, reverent hands, the way he had wanted to since he first laid eyes on it in the school parking lot. Not that it would have been a possibility before that awful night, probably, but it definitely wasn’t after. Billy had broken something he cared about with his own hands; these days, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling.

4. One Prize I’d Cheat to Win Listen, I know how long it has been since I updated this. I KNOW. But I swear to you that it is still an active WIP, and I am working on the upcoming chapters. Updates are coming!

“Talk to me, Max. Something feels off. This was too easy.”

“Everything’s fine, asshole. Stop being so paranoid.” Even through the earpiece, Billy could hear her irritated huff. “I told you, I did extensive research on this one. It's easy because we planned it that way.” Billy snagged a glass of champagne as a server with a tray passed him. He sipped it as he studied the dance floor below him. Couples in black tie swayed in circles to the music. The band was set up in a discreet corner, opposite the raised dais at the far end of the room. There was a podium on it. The auction was due to start in an hour, and Billy hadn’t seen his target yet.

“If everything's fine, then where is he?” he asked Max. “This is his party in his massive, ridiculous ballroom." Who the fuck had a house with a ballroom? "He should be schmoozing right now.”

“I don’t know, Billy. Aren’t rich people late all the time? Maybe he’s still getting ready.” Given what his hair had looked like in the photos Billy had studied, he could almost believe it. Still, Billy didn't like it. Something felt off. He opened his mouth to say that again, but two things happened at once. The double doors opposite the raised dais opened and Steve Harrington stepped through them. He was wearing a beautifully tailored dark blue tuxedo, and Billy’s mouth went a little dry. The photos really hadn’t done him justice. At the same time, someone leaned up against the railing right next to where Billy was tucked into the shadows, and he felt the unmistakable press of a gun muzzle against his ribs. He took a sharp breath and let it out slowly. God damn it, he had been right. This had been too easy because it was a fucking trap.

5. The One Word My first foray into the Captain America fandom! I’ve considered deleting this until I have more of it edited (life, ugghhhh), but I haven’t done it yet. I have so much more of it written, but editing is my nemesis.  

Once upon a time, there lived two small boys. One was small and fair and fierce and the other tall and dark-haired and charming, and there are many, many stories about what happened to them over the months and years and decades of their lives.

In some stories, the boys grow up together. They laugh as they dart through grimy alleyways or cobblestoned courtyards or vast rooms where the sound of each footstep vanishes into deep, lush carpeting. They annoy each other and defend each other and vow, as children do, that they will be with each other forever.

In some stories, they keep that promise. They stand beside each other and take on every challenge with the warm, sure knowledge that there is nothing they have to face alone. In other stories, they are less fortunate. There are months and years and decades of dark and painful separation. And yet they find each other, again and again and again, on eerily silent streets and in deep forests, in coffee shops and dorm rooms, in subway cars and in quiet, too-empty apartments. They fall apart, and then they come back together.  

In this story, they start out alone.

6. Almost Enough Ah yes, the post-S4 fic that I wrote before I watched S4. Truly, a simpler time. 

It’s too quiet. Sure, there’s the soft beeping of whatever machines they have him hooked up to, and he can hear the murmur of quiet voices in the hall—even in this desolate stretch between midnight and morning, the hospital doesn’t truly sleep—but Billy was alone in the Upside Down for a long time. He craves light, and familiar voices, and the simple animal heat of other bodies close to his. Those things are not available, not here and now in the sterile hush of this hospital, but…well. Maybe he doesn’t have to be completely alone.

He carefully strips off the oxygen line and the sensors they plastered to him when he came in. There’s nothing specific wrong with him—nothing they’ve managed to identify, anyway—but his nurses all shoot each other looks and murmur about ‘sustained exposure’ and ‘delayed symptoms.’ He can’t bring himself to care. He’s alive and he’s not trapped in a terrifying mirror of Hawkins anymore and for right now, it’s enough. Almost. It’s almost enough.

He slips out of his room when the hall goes briefly still and silent. Steve’s room is three doors down on the right. The door is ajar, and Billy just stands there for a moment, staring.

Steve isn’t asleep. He’s sitting up against the headboard, knees pulled to his chest, staring blankly in the direction of the window. Billy can see a slight tremor in his hands where they’re wrapped around his knees.

7. the road not taken looks real good now I think this is still my most popular fic? I dug it out of my drafts and gave myself a public deadline, and finished it in like five days. There’s a lesson there somewhere. 

Billy isn’t surprised when it’s Robin who opens Steve’s front door. He’s a little late, so Steve is almost surely in the midst of making dinner. He issurprised when she steps out onto the porch and closes the front door behind her. Billy blinks at her. She isn’t wearing a coat, and it’s freezing.

“Todd is here,” she says, voice pitched low. Billy stares at her blankly for a moment before the sentence sinks in.

“Steve brought his boyfriend back to Hawkins for the holidays?” he asks, tone surprisingly even. It isn’t the first time Steve has dated someone since he left for college, obviously, but it is the first time he’s brought anyone home. Billy tries to fight off the surge of disappointment that he will not, apparently, be spending the bulk of this vacation in Steve’s bed, the way he always does when they’re home at the same time. They’ve been hooking up whenever they see each other for the past three years, since the first time Steve came back to Hawkins from college for a visit. Robin nods, her expression bleak.

8. Six Gifts My other holiday exchange fic! Holiday fluff is my JAM. 

It started with a cigarette.

Well. If Billy was being honest with himself, which he was trying to do a little more consistently lately, it started long before that. It started the first goddamn day, before any of the rest of it happened, with a single glimpse of big dark eyes and pale skin across a parking lot. But it didn’t go well, that first time, and Billy figured that once he’d died, he probably got to start over with a clean slate.

So it started with a cigarette.

Billy was standing in a shadowed corner of the porch at the Byers’ big new house, smoking a cigarette and half listening to the sounds of laughter and Christmas music from inside. He appreciated Max’s continuing efforts to include him in the larger group, but he didn’t really belong inside with them. Maybe he wasn’t the monster anymore, but he wasn’t one of the good guys either. It was fine. He could linger around the edges, helping out Max and doing his best to stay out of the way.  

Suddenly he heard the creak of the porch door opening and a slam as it closed again. Then he heard light footsteps headed for the same darkened corner Billy had chosen. He knew exactly who it was—he had been paying attention to that specific tread for a long time. The steps stopped abruptly as they reached the corner of the house. There was a brief silence. Billy kept his eyes fixed on the line of trees visible across the side yard, fully expecting to hear those same footsteps moving away from him. Instead, he heard a quiet little sigh.

“I hear those’ll kill you,” Steve said softly as he walked up to stand next to Billy at the railing. He gestured at the cigarette in Billy’s hand. Billy stared at him and then snorted.

“Too late,” he said drily.

9. you should come with a warning label This one is a bit of a tease. I have a part 2 mostly drafted, but editing, boooooo.  

Billy heard the door to Steve's room swing open, hard enough to slam against the wall. He glanced up to where his own door was open just a crack. He couldn't see Steve, but he could see the girl he had brought home. She was pretty. Tall, blonde, athletic. A little drunk and a lot angry, apparently.

"Come on, it's not like I lied about it," Steve pleaded. She whirled on him, pointing a finger.

"You should come with a fucking warning label," she hissed at him.

"Hey," Steve said, sounding offended, but she had already turned and was stomping toward the front door. It slammed behind her. Steve made a frustrated noise and Billy heard the door to his room slam shut, and then silence.  

Fifteen minutes later, Billy was sitting at the kitchen table when Steve emerged from his room. This wasn't an accident; Steve always got snacky when he was drinking, especially if he wasn't getting laid. He was still wearing his date outfit and a scowl. Billy took a moment to admire the way his ass looked in his date jeans when he leaned into the fridge, and waited until Steve was sniffing a box of leftovers before he spoke.

10. A few lines at a time The postcard fic! I wrote it for the 2021 Big Bang. It started as a very different story, but I’m so happy with where it went instead. 

“Billy is alive!”

Max burst into a Friday night D&D session in March and dropped that bomb, and Steve promptly dropped the glass he was filling at the sink. He took a few long moments to stare at the new crack in the glass before it occurred to him to turn off the water. He spent another minute slowing his breathing to something more manageable before he turned back to face the group eating snacks at his kitchen table. No one appeared to have noticed his reaction; their attention was firmly on Max.

Steve caught up to the conversation just as Max announced that she had, in fact, just gotten off the phone with her less-dead-than-previously-assumed step-brother. She was met with skepticism, even though they had all already lived through the miracle of Hopper reappearing, too thin and bearded and even more pissed off than usual, and telling an insane story about a Russian prison camp and the Upside Down. But this was different. After all, Joyce had told them all that Hopper was dead, and they had believed her, but they had all watched Billy die, and they could trust their own eyes.

Except that they clearly couldn’t, because Billy was alive and generally fine, living in California and calling his sister to tell her that he survived--surprise! --and was recovering in some lab.

This was so fun! I haven’t looked at some of these in a while. I’ll tag @passivenovember and @thatharringrovehoe, only if you feel like it. 

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of January 2024

[last month]

Yeah, winter officially hit this month. Half of December was too Finals to be winter, and the other half was me reflecting on the year in music (so lots of 2023's most hard-hitting songs, which weren't exactly cozy winter music!). But in January, the snowy-gray-won't-leave-the-house mood actually hit--and I think it shows in this list (prepare yourself for LOTS of gloomy folk)! There were so many exciting releases this month, though, even though I couldn't muster up all that much energy about them--I'm really excited to see how the Sleater-Kinney, G-IDLE & Andrea Santiago albums will age!

1 . Boy's a liar Pt.2 -- PinkPantheress, Ice Spice

Yeah I sooooo get it now!! Like I don't fully get the lyrics, but it's so charming that I don't care! It's peak girl-next-door sweetness :)

2. BDH - Acústica Versión -- Bely Basarte

The first time I heard this, I wrote down: "Now THIS is how you do layered harmonies, cowards." I stand by my assessment—this is proof that acoustic tracks aren't boring, at least not when you give them a soundscape as beautiful as this one!

3. Tanta adrenalina -- Bely Basarte

This reminds me of the summer I was obsessed with Chung Ha's "California Dream"—even in January, I need some light, fluffy house in my life! (And yes, you can see that my Bely Basarte phase has kept going strong from last month!!)

4. Big Black Car -- Gregory Alan Isakov

I am a sad boy <3 (HOPE WAS A LETTER I NEVER COULD SEND !!!!)

5. Lost On You -- LP

I've been watching Loudermilk this month, and when I heard this song in the end credits of an episode, I instantly went to find it online. It's so wonderfully desolate, especially with those vocals... and the soft jingling of the guitar... *happy arm wave*

6. Southern Star -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Can’t stop singing this one—the melody is pure magic!

7. When the Party's Over -- Faux Paz

I like the original version better, but I'll never get tired of Faux Paz, either!

8. Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Saw @shyreol post about this, and I'm so glad I decided to check it out (thank you for sharing)!! I'm absolutely obsessed with the hook—instant comfort song!

9. The Healing Game -- Van Morrison

Loudermilk part 2. This one hasn't even been played in the show yet, as far as I know, it just gets quoted by one of the characters—and deservingly, because these lyrics hit HARD. (And now I can cross 'liking a new Van Morrison song' off my music bucket list for the year—thanks, Loudermilk!)

10. Lalalala -- Stray Kids

This one has lost most of its appeal after a few weeks of listening, but it was very good noise to keep me sensory-happy during some rough weeks (and that ‘lalalalala’ hook is still great)! We'll see how it ages, I guess!

11. The Fall -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Speaking of Stray Kids, Isakov's lower register in this song is GLORIOUS.

12. Soldier, Poet, King -- The Oh Hellos

Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this one before December! It’s so good tho :)

13. What's Love -- Empress Of, MUNA

This sounds like the best parts of nighttime—it’s a little more muted than most synthpop these days, but it manages to stand out with just how ethereal it is! The production really just gets more beautiful with every listen—okay, maybe I just have a thing for vocoders…

14. La isla de Lesbos -- Javiera Mena

I don't really remember listening to this one in the past month? But I'm not mad about it being here—it's a classic in my book, because I can never say no to sparkly house music!

15. Smiley -- Yena, Bibi

An instant shot of energy, every time!! So glad I finally added Yena to my stan list, her music soooo deserves it!

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Hell -- Sleater-Kinney (i mentioned how excited i was about this album right?? i love the texture of this song i love how it go grrrrr i love the line “hell is just a place that / we can’t seem to live without” !! i have a very good feeling about this one helping me get through the year SCREEEEEE)

BDH - Acústica Versión — Bely Basarte

Certainty -- Big Thief (this is what love is to me btw like i realized this month that i don’t think any other song has captured it better so here we are) (YOU LAY BESIDE ME / SLEEPING ON A PLANE / IN THE FUUUUUTUREEEEEEEE)

Was I Just Another One -- Gregory Alan Isakov (i listened to this allll the time in 2020, but i ended up developing a new appreciation for its atmosphere this month like good god i’m in awe GLOOMY FOLK GLOOMY FOLK IT IS A WASTELAND IT IS IMMACULATE EEEEEE !!)

[writingonleaves]

wait could we please get an outline of the clem and nico relationship timeline (without spoilers of course!)

i was about to go to sleep but now i am Not and so excited to talk clem and nico as always, so thank you for this!! this is a good exercise for me too to see how well i know my story off the top of my head lmao. below are the basics. lmk if there's anything i missed / something specific you wanted to know about!!

Clem moves to Hoboken to start her residency: summer of 2023

First meeting: October 12, 2023 post devils season opener

Devils Friendsgiving: late November 2023. i say this is where nico first shows signs of liking clem as more of a friend and also i believe where jack first notices as well

Devils Hospital Visits: early December 2023. this is i say where Clem first started having inklings of liking nico as more than a friend bc seeing nico with kids is a killer

Christmas with Hughes Extended Family / New Year's: self explanatory lol. this is when clem tells nico about her dad and why she's so close to the hughes family

Nico's Birthday / Hughes Bowl in Jersey: January 4-6, 2024 (rip jack not being there irl but it is what it is). this is when clem bakes the cake for nico

Cole telling Clem that everyone has baggage lmao: February 24, 2024 when the habs are in town to play the devils. i always say this is the point when its shown that jack and luke (and subsequently, cole) knows theres something between clem and nico that could actually be something

Devils at Rangers / unofficial date post-game when clem and nico go to the beer garden: April 3, 2024. also miguel's birthday.

First kiss / officially dating: April 20, 2024. in my world the devils make the playoffs (and i think i also said the first round is devils v penguins? would love to know what the fuck i was on when picking the pens lmao and who knows if devs will even make playoffs now!!! anyways)

there's so much more but those are spoilers so i will keep hush. this was very messy but i hope it made sense and answered your question!!